Favorites in the Family

Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah.

Genesis 29:30

Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

Genesis 37:3-4

Jacob had been his mother's favorite son. His brother, Esau, had been his dad's. Favoritism in the home was what he knew. It was what he was used to. And as we read the last half of Genesis, it becomes clearer and clearer that it is a toxic trait that Jacob's home life will be dominated by. 

Through a series of circumstances that weren't entirely Jacob's fault, he was tricked into marrying a pair of sisters. This is a bad idea which is why Scripture expressly forbids it in Leviticus 18:18. But Jacob made this bad idea worse by playing favorites. Scripture tells us right away that he loved one of his wives better than the other. Unsurprisingly, this created a rivalry between the two women. And for years they competed for their husband's affection by trying to outdo the other by having more children.

Sadly, this only made the situation worse because Jacob treated the children the same as he treated their mothers. He played favorites among his own kids. Showing preference to the one who was born of his favorite wife. Predictably, this led to rivalry among the kids. It got so bad that the brothers sold their rival into slavery and told their father he was dead. Deep down in their hearts, I believe they wished he really were dead. 

There are so many lessons we can learn from Jacob's life but one of them is undoubtedly the danger of playing favorites with our families. I know that most of us think we would never do that, but how many adults do you know who believe they weren't their parent's favorite child? Obviously, some parents still make this mistake. Be very careful that you aren't among them. Favoritism is toxic, and it will ruin your family.