Fire Prevention for Churches

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.

Proverbs 26:20

A single match can start a raging fire capable of destroying the largest forest, but only if the conditions are right. Only if there's plenty of fuel to burn. If you drop that same match on a wet patch of grass or in the middle of a dirt path it will simply burn itself out. In the same way, a divisive and angry church member can destroy a church only if the conditions are right. Just like fire, conflict needs fuel to keep burning. 

Proverbs 26:20 tells us that this fuel is gossip. Literally, gossip can be rendered whispering or murmuring. That's what feeds the quarrel and causes it to grow. Without gossip a single, angry church member can't do much damage. He'll burn himself out and leave the church. It's when others start to whisper about what's going on that the conflict spreads. 

As word gets around some people feel the need to take sides (often based more on relational or familial ties than on the details of the situation at hand). Others feel the need to sit in judgment and give their opinion. Many try to apply pressure to church leaders by making passive aggressive threats about what they will do or what "a lot of people" will do if certain actions aren't taken. This is especially destructive, because it blatantly tempts church leaders to consider what will please the congregation when they ought to be prayerfully considering what will please the Lord. We dare not tempt our leaders to turn into man pleasers in such situations! But if we will follow these simple rules, we can create an environment that makes it nearly impossible for large-scale conflict to flare up in our churches. 

When you experience conflict with someone at church, there are only three people you should talk to about it.

1. The person you are mad at. 
2. Church leadership (and this should only be after you are unable to make headway by talking directly to the person with whom you have the problem). 
3. And Jesus.

And if you are not one of these three people then don't talk about it! Refuse to discuss it. Refuse to listen to it. Don't allow yourself to be thrown onto someone else's fire. Don't allow yourself to be used as fuel to destroy a church.